Dealing with extreme jealousy
Relationships May 29th, 2007
Dear Aunt Becky:
I have been seeing the same guy exclusively for 4 months. Overall everything is great except he seems to have a jealous streak. We were at a festival last week and when he went to the restroom another guy came up to me and asked me a question. I was surprised that my boyfriend stood in the corner until after the guy left and accused me of initiating the conversation and flirting. I also caught him going through my cell phone recently and writing down phone numbers. When I confronted him about this he said he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t talking to my ex-boyfriends. I am not cheating on him nor do I have any interest to. I continually reaffirm to him he is the only one but it doesn’t seem to be enough. What should I do to make him believe I’m faithful to him?
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Dear Faithful:
At the initial stages (where you are) in a relationship some signs of jealousy can be flattering. From what you wrote you are not giving your boyfriend any reason to be jealous. Unfortunately something else besides you is triggering his insecurities. Did he have a cheating girlfriend in the past? Eventually his jealous behavior could extend outside of your relationship and into other aspects of your life. I’ve known of men who were so jealous it got to the point were the girl would rather not see her family or friends because he’ll give her such a hard time. Also if she stopped at the store after work he’ll accuse her of having an affair with the check-out boy! Some men even time their mates to make sure every minute of the day is accounted for. Do you really want to live your life like this?
There is only so much you can do to make him believe you are being faithful. You should tell him once again he is the only one but you are starting to question his insecurities. If he continues these accusations and irrational behavior you might need to decide if he’s worth it. Hopefully a good firm talk will straighten him out. However please look for the warning signs after your talk and ask yourself if you are willing to put up with this nonsense behavior.
Aunt Becky
2 Responses to “Dealing with extreme jealousy”
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April 16th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
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I was surprised that my […….
April 20th, 2010 at 8:13 am
Не очень!…
I was surprised that my […….